Blaming Bullies for Suicides is Akin to Blaming Teachers for Failing Schools
I'm not sticking up for the bullies, but I have your attention now. The recent suicides are a collective tragedy. Several teachers have chimed in.Vicki Bell
Tom - Be ready for language, but passion like no other on the link he provides.My addition:NEVER TAKE A PERMANENT ACTION TO SOLVE A TEMPORARY SITUATION I know it is cliche-like. But many people take permanent actions in so many settings wherein with patience and perseverance, the situation will change and true growth will occur.Suicide is the ultimate "permanent action." There is no coming back from dead in this life. I could go on and on about the role that violent video games, TV, movies, music, cartoons, and even Shakespeare have romanticized, glamorized, and in some ways encouraged young impressionable minds to end their life to make a point, ease the pain, or otherwise "get revenge." There is no question that bullying plays a part in the recent suicides. Bullies thrive on the power they receive from the action, usually because it is the only place in their lives where they feel in control of their situations. To blame only the bullies in this setting is akin to blaming teachers for failing schools. Here's the connection.Before teaching, I spent a few years counseling kids through my ministry. In a high school of about 150 students, there were 3 deaths in a single year. None suicide, but many students were considering it as an option when they felt the "life isn't fair, so why continue" situations that everyone faces. Kids are struggling (and always have, I suppose) with creating an identity. They live in America where power is admired, and the race to the top is policy not just in education. When young people do not find themselves in power, control, or are questioning their identity and place in the world (all temporary situations) the immaturity of all kids is to take a permanent action to make their voice heard among the noise. Bullies, gays, minorities, religious outcasts, are all seeking the same thing. The desire of power over others, circumstances, or self. When they can't have it immediately, their hope is vanquished. Thus, they seek a permanent solution to a situation they believe will never change. As adults, we fuel their struggle with indifference, attitude, and culture. I believe our kids are all seeking the same singular thing...HOPE for a better future... but have a distorted view of what hope really is. Adults, if we are honest, our generation screwed up that hope. Teachers, the single best thing we can do for our students of this generation is to allow them to dream again. I'm convinced of this. I have 7th graders who have no idea what they want to be in life. To me, that is the most tragic thing of this generation; they have no purpose for living, when they have no dreams. They have been (mis)directed into believing there is only one way to success...our way. It's time to stop this "formal, college-bound education is the answer to all our woes" mentality, and become caring humans again. Kids are telling us what they want to know, we just refuse to listen most times. So perhaps it's time for us to shut up, observe, listen, and love our kids again. Stop stealing dreams and hope, and begin to inspire them to have the dreams and hopes that are buried deep within each of us.
Tom - Be ready for language, but passion like no other on the link he provides.My addition:NEVER TAKE A PERMANENT ACTION TO SOLVE A TEMPORARY SITUATION I know it is cliche-like. But many people take permanent actions in so many settings wherein with patience and perseverance, the situation will change and true growth will occur.Suicide is the ultimate "permanent action." There is no coming back from dead in this life. I could go on and on about the role that violent video games, TV, movies, music, cartoons, and even Shakespeare have romanticized, glamorized, and in some ways encouraged young impressionable minds to end their life to make a point, ease the pain, or otherwise "get revenge." There is no question that bullying plays a part in the recent suicides. Bullies thrive on the power they receive from the action, usually because it is the only place in their lives where they feel in control of their situations. To blame only the bullies in this setting is akin to blaming teachers for failing schools. Here's the connection.Before teaching, I spent a few years counseling kids through my ministry. In a high school of about 150 students, there were 3 deaths in a single year. None suicide, but many students were considering it as an option when they felt the "life isn't fair, so why continue" situations that everyone faces. Kids are struggling (and always have, I suppose) with creating an identity. They live in America where power is admired, and the race to the top is policy not just in education. When young people do not find themselves in power, control, or are questioning their identity and place in the world (all temporary situations) the immaturity of all kids is to take a permanent action to make their voice heard among the noise. Bullies, gays, minorities, religious outcasts, are all seeking the same thing. The desire of power over others, circumstances, or self. When they can't have it immediately, their hope is vanquished. Thus, they seek a permanent solution to a situation they believe will never change. As adults, we fuel their struggle with indifference, attitude, and culture. I believe our kids are all seeking the same singular thing...HOPE for a better future... but have a distorted view of what hope really is. Adults, if we are honest, our generation screwed up that hope. Teachers, the single best thing we can do for our students of this generation is to allow them to dream again. I'm convinced of this. I have 7th graders who have no idea what they want to be in life. To me, that is the most tragic thing of this generation; they have no purpose for living, when they have no dreams. They have been (mis)directed into believing there is only one way to success...our way. It's time to stop this "formal, college-bound education is the answer to all our woes" mentality, and become caring humans again. Kids are telling us what they want to know, we just refuse to listen most times. So perhaps it's time for us to shut up, observe, listen, and love our kids again. Stop stealing dreams and hope, and begin to inspire them to have the dreams and hopes that are buried deep within each of us.
Posted via email from Room 755
posted by Ric Murry @ 10:04 AM
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